A mother’s love ❤

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We all think we know what love is, that is, until we have children.  Once you have a child and hold that baby in your arms, your whole perception of love changes.  I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant and scared as could be.  I had no plans to be a mother.  You hear people all the time say things like, she’s so smart, I can’t believe she got pregnant.  She had big plans for college , now it’s all changed.  When I think about the day I found out I was pregnant, I remember I was terrified.  I was scared to tell my parents.  I was terrified to let them down.  I had my whole life ahead of me.  I had no idea how I was going to make it as a mom.  I had no idea how I would even survive labor pains!  I was the biggest baby!  I couldn’t even swallow a pill let alone give birth to a child. 
Today, my son will be 18 in less than 2 months.  He will be close to the age that I was when I had him.  Only a year younger.  When I think about all the friends who were in college and working on their careers, doing things the “right” way.  I think about the fact that when young women get pregnant, people make comments about how she has “ruined her life.”  How it changes everything.  Yes.  It does.  But I can tell you this, I wouldn’t change a thing!!  I wouldn’t be the person I am today if it wasn’t for my son!  So what if I didn’t make millions.  So what if I didn’t have everything.  So what if my 2 year degree took me 5 years.  Honestly, I have never even used it!  What I did learn in the experience of being a mother is more than any book, teacher or lesson plan can teach me.  I learned so much more!  I learned unconditional love!  From the moment I held that baby boy in my arms, my whole world changed.  Everything I did was to make his world a better place.  It stopped being about me.  Yes, I had moments of struggle and difficult days.  Yes I made mistakes and was not perfect.  But honestly, I don’t feel like I sacrificed anything from my life because I wouldn’t be me if it weren’t for him.  I wouldn’t have met the friends and coaches and people in my life today if it weren’t for him. 
When you hold that baby in your arms there is a feeling like no other.  It can’t even be described.  You can’t help but be worried when something bad “could” happen.  I finally understood why my parents would worry when I didn’t call to check in, I was fine!  Now I know that worry.  All you want to do is protect them.  You want to shelter them.  You learn all the bad and terrible things that could happen and when they are not in your sight, you think of these things.  You want to comfort them when they are hurt.  You want to feed them when they are hungry or you think they should or could be hungry. You want to hug and kiss them when they have a boo boo.  You feel their pain when they are hurt, scared, heartbroken, sad, stressed.  You just want to take it all away and make it better.
I remember thinking that once he started getting older I wouldn’t worry as much.  Yeah right!  The closer your child gets to becoming an adult, the scarier it is!  You realize you have less and less control over things they do, decisions they make.  You pray more often. You pray for their safety.           You pray they make good decisions, but mostly, you pray that you have instilled in them the ability to make the best decisions for themselves.  You pray they will “just say no” to drugs.  You pray they will not get in a car after drinking.  You pray that they will put their all into everything they do, because as a parent, you know your child can do anything they want!  Including becoming president if they choose.  These days, I wish my son could be president because I know he could do better than Trump!
So after almost 18 years of being a mom I finally get it.  I finally understand why at 37 years old my parents still want me to check in with them once in awhile.  Why even when I was 30 years old my dad would wait for me to get home late at night.  Us parents don’t mean to be like this!  We just know all of the crazy things going on in this world.  We know that every time we hear sirens and our child is not right there we think of the worst things that could happen!    We don’t mean to be this way it’s just that since that very day that you came into our lives, the day you were placed in our arms, we found this love that we had never known before.  This love that made us care more about ourselves than ever.  This indescribable feeling like no other.  So please, just humor us once in awhile because one day, when you have children, you will finally get it. You will hold that baby in your arms and understand the meaning of unconditional love. 
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17 thoughts on “A mother’s love ❤

  1. Hope I’m not posting double sorry if I am. First let me say I looking forward to reading your blog and what you have to say. A Mothers Love really hit home. I’ve thought about where my life would be if I did the things “the right way 😏”. Then I think I wouldn’t have my three wonderful children or my love of life my grandson. I wouldn’t change it for anything think. I always believe God has a plan for us and my plan was to be mom and GiGi lol. As for calling and checking in I’m going to be 50 this year and my mother still wants a call, So my children know what they have to do 😘. Again thanks for this. Bless you . Sorry if I posted twice but I’m sure they are different lol.

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  2. Oh Elissa you know this one is my favorite by far!!! Every word is true!! As you know I had Kyle at 18 and boy was I scared!! I had all the thoughts you had! I am a much smarter, stronger, independent, loving, caring, person today all because I became a mother at a young age. I wouldn’t change it for the world!!!! I cried reading this one because everything in this blog is perfect!!! Thank you again for an amazing read!! ❤💜❤💜❤💜

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    1. Awww thanks and sorry you cried, but not really. Lol its because you know these feelings! It was hard as a single mom feeling like his father had the freedom i wanted. I was angry for a long time, even though i loved my son and being a mom. Now that he’s almost an adult and i have that freedom again i don’t even know what i will do with it! Lol. It was scary at first but i wouldn’t change a thing. Thank you for continuing to read

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  3. There are many in this world that will identify with this post and will help them through their current journey.
    Early in the post you mentioned, “so what, I won’t be a millionaire.” It made me think about something I once read: “I know a man that was so poor, all he had was money.” Life is so much more than money. It is about experiences you can’t buy regardless of one’s bank account. You are already a rich person based on the love you have for your family. We can fine tune all the necessities in life; we can’t change the true soul of a person. Your son is a fortunate young man to have a mother who feels like you do.

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  4. This is the most beautiful things that I have ever read in my entire life. And I feel it on so many levels! NO ONE is ever prepared to become a first time mother rather you are 19 or 40. And I actually believe that young mothers (around the early 20s) make the best moms if they’re strong and smart and want to do their best. The majority of the ones that I have had the pleasure of knowing are close to their kids and more understanding of what their kids are going through possibly because they had yet to go through too much of adulthood to”forget,” and they hustle SO hard for their kids and in the end I believe that their kids often have more than any other parent could give them.

    I went to college, did everything that everyone else wanted me to do after my happiness was already ripped to shreds by a monster and I still wondered what the purpose of my life was. I realized (at 22) that I just wanted to be a mom. Some people weren’t very supportive at first but becoming a mom has been MORE than what I was looking for in life. You would have thought I was a pirate the way I used to just drink wine and waste my life away on a seemingly grand adventure to absolutely no where because I don’t have the experience haha. Through having our daughter I’ve learned that life itself truly is a precious miracle. Sometimes I just stand over her as she sleeps and feel tears of joy in my face but they can’t even come out because I’m so happy. I still can’t believe that she’s here and she’s mine. She gives me happiness and purpose and I’m going to do my best to see that she is always happy. I’m in for one amazing ride and I’m forever grateful for it all. I’ll probably cry with her when she gets her first big boo-boo haha.

    You did a beautiful job raising your amazing son and I am so glad to know that you were blessed with so much strength and courage and ability throughout his 18 years (and beyond) to be the extraordinary mom that I can definitely tell that you are. You are an inspiration! Thank you from the very bottom of my heart for sharing this with me!

    P.s. Ever since I’ve had our daughter I actually stalk my mom now and have had so many little pointless conversations with her just because I totally get it now, and I feel horrible lol

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    1. Awww thanks. I wrote this from the heart. It took me a long time to get over my anger at his father because I spent too much time blaming and feeling it was unfair he had his freedom. I mean of course I loved my son and doing things with him and being with him but I spent time thinking how unfair so many things were. I finally realized I was the one holding myself back. I do love my relationship with my son and I wouldn’t change a thing. Now I feel like I’m preparing for my next life lol. I want to do All the things I really love. I don’t think I would have known what I wanted to do with my life back at 19 or 20. Oh and I definitely appreciate what my parents went through so much more now! Ugh… hopefully karma’s not too mean to me and my smart mouth! Lol. Thanks for reading and I look forward to continuing to read your blog and see your beautiful baby girl grow! So glad you are enjoying being a mom!

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  5. Hi,

    So heart-warming, I love the honesty in this post and admire your openness.

    I don’t have kids yet but I look forward to having them. I know how much my mother loves me, even with how grown-up I am, she’s always looking out for me. Lol

    I think motherhood is the most selfless, giving and generous accomplishment. Such unconditional love is so wonderful.

    Thank you for sharing this. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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