We are barely one week into the new year and already I’m sick of hearing about diets!  It seems like somehow everywhere I go, the conversation turns into diet.  Green tea is the best, don’t drink coffee, drink one cup of coffee, cut out carbs, you need some carbs, grrrrr!!  I’m over it already!  First off, having struggled with weight loss for years, I know what to do.  I hate to tell you this, but most of the time, the people who are always trying to lose weight, actually know how to.  We have done every diet out there!  We have done Weight Watchers, Atkins, the grapefruit diet, the 2 day diet, the 17 day diet, the eat clean diet, and the list goes on.  I am over it!  Can I just say it one more time??  I’M OVER IT!

I don’t want to talk about diet anymore.  Yes, thank you for your encouragement, your support, and your offer to help me, but really, I’ve done this how many times?  I know what to do!  I know I need to stop eating crap.  I know I need to get my butt off the couch and move.  I know I should watch my portions, eat more veggies and drink more water.  I know I should cut out refined sugars, eat more fiber, do more cardio and tone with weights.  

Here is the thing, I know what to do! I may even want to do it!  But I have to do it.  People can encourage and support me. Yes, that does help.  But regardless what anyone says or does, it is my decision.  It’s something I have to do.  And even if I know what to do, even if I want to do it, I have to do it!  I have to want to do it!  Sometimes just because you want to do something, you REALLY WANT to do something, you still don’t do it!  Sometimes it takes getting out of your own way.  Sometimes it takes stepping on the scale to see that number gone too far up or not fitting into those pants you just wore last month for your brain to say “OK!  ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!”  Sometimes it’s overwhelming to think about all the weight you want to lose, all the things you should be doing and all the time it could take to get to where you want to be.  So you have to stop dieting and start living healthy.  Stop looking at everything you need to take away and look at what you can add, or what you can have more of.  More veggies, more water, more moving.  Look at the little things you can change.  Look at the whole picture.  Add more of what you love.  Dance around your living room, sing loudly, write a poem, take a walk.  Whatever you love, add more of it to your life.  Just make small changes that you can live with for most of your life.  

I know for me, I’m done with diets.  I decided with the new year that every diet book I have in my house I am getting rid of.  I know what to do, I just need to decide to do it.  If I stop and think about how I feel when I eat something, if it makes me feel good, then I will have it.  I know that if I sit and eat a big bowl of homemade mac and cheese I will feel heavy and tired after.  So maybe I will have a bite or two and then fill my tummy with chicken and veggies.  I know some days will be harder than others, but I am done with diets.  I don’t want to hear about them anymore.  I’ve spent about 20 years worrying about dieting and losing weight instead of living healthy.   I refuse to continue this cycle.  From now on down with diets for me, I will be living healthy.

Self Love

I am loving me
All that I am
All I have been
All I will be
For if i don’t love me
how will others know
how to love me
How will they learn
to respect my boundaries
if i do not show them
where the lines are drawn
If I do not love me
how will I appreciate
when someone tells me
I am beautiful
If I can not see for myself
Loving my imperfections and flaws
Loving my truth
My heart
All that is within me
For there is no other like me.
Only one was made
I am the original
Far from perfect
Maybe my hips are bigger than hers
My eyes are bluer than his
A little shorter than this one
A little thicker than that one
Quick to anger at times
Bothered by petty noises
But this is certain
I am like no other
With a big heart
Sharp mind
Loving soul
I can look past the surface imperfections
knowing deep down the beauty of my soul
out shines
any of these flaws
And if you can not do the same
there is no place
reserved for you
In my world