We all have those days. Those days we feel like we have failed. Those days we want to sit in a corner and hide. Or crawl back into bed, pull the covers over our heads and shut out the rest of the world. Why is it we are so hard on ourselves, yet so kind to others. Why do we not give ourselves more credit? If only we could look at ourselves through other people’s eyes. If only we would treat ourselves, the way we treat others.
Encouraging ourselves. Telling ourselves, “hey! It’s ok. You can’t do everything in one day. You don’t have to be perfect. You are human! You are not a machine. You are not a droid or a clone. You make mistakes.” In fact, that is how you learn better! If we could take the time each day, to find one thing we love about ourselves. Be proud of what we have accomplished.
I feel like lately I have had lots of conversations with people who are feeling down. Having moments they want to cry. Moments they don’t want to get out of bed or just moments of struggle. Guess, what? What if I told you we ALL have these moments? Yes, even I do!
For those people who know me, who have known me throughout the years either in person or through social media, what if I told you a secret. What if I told you that I have had these moments.
Yes, I may post statuses on facebook about how my teenager is driving me mad. How my car was broken down. How I didn’t want to work in insurance anymore. But that’s not all. There are things that I have not shared. Moments that maybe no one even knows about. Today, I need to share these moments.
As a single mom, yes I have complained from time to time about not having money. I may have felt bad for myself. But what if I told you there were nights I cried? Times that I felt sad and lonely. Times that I cried in bed alone and had pity parties. Nights I wondered why was I alone. Nights I felt unworthy of pretty much anything and everything. I didn’t tell anyone. I was supposed to be a strong, independent, single woman. I felt I couldn’t show anyone this side. I couldn’t show anyone my vulnerability. I would fight to hide that and get up and put a smile on my face. I would walk around confident in public because that is what a strong, independent single mother does.
Over the past few months I have really been working through some things. Dealing with the fact that I am sensitive. Thinking about the fact that I try to be tough. That is, until I realized who I was fighting. It was me! I was fighting myself! I wasn’t fighting anyone else but me. I finally realized that it’s ok to be vulnerable. It’s ok to feel! It’s ok to ask for help, to accept help, to feel emotions. It’s ok to be me. It doesn’t mean that I’m not strong and independent. I have proven that for years. But sometimes being strong means asking for and accepting help. Sometimes being strong is being vulnerable. Having the strength to ask for help. The strength to accept help and the strength to cry, but then get up, wipe your tears and keep going.
I am not writing this for pity, but for encouragement. To remind all these strong independent, single women out there to know it’s ok to be vulnerable. It’s ok to ask for help. And it’s ok to cry.
This is a song by India Arie that always encourages and remind me that I can do anything when I believe in myself. If you are having a rough day, go ahead and take a listen.
