Loving Me

image

This was inspired by a quote that Just Plain ‘Ol Vic posted earlier today. 

“Stop hating yourself for everything you aren’t. Start loving yourself for everything you are.”

It prompted me to write myself a letter on why I love me. I decided to share it and maybe encourage others to do the same.
Physically,  I love my eyes, my nose, my smile.  I love the shape of my body, regardless of the weight I am at, all my curves in all of the right places.  I love my hands and my feet and toes.  I love my “perfect” legs (as my gram used to call them).  I love my hips and the way they move to the rhythm of good music. 
Mentally, I love my brain, the way I think, the way I see things and try to see things from different angles, different points of view.  I love the way my thoughts flow onto paper. That I can wrote in a poetic way.  The way I day dream and close my eyes to see pictures.  My analytical self, my mathematical self and my realistic self.  But I also love my day dreamy, creative self.
I love my heart, that I can see and find the good in people.  I love that I am trusting,  that I give people a chance. Yes I may have been taken advantage of before but I have learned to let that go.  It doesn’t mean that I do it again or continue to trust them.  It means that I forgive and move on.  I realize that the people who try to hurt me with their lies and manipulation are truly the ones hurting.  I am learning to love my vulnerability. I was so scared to show it for so long but now I am embracing it, along with my sensitivity.  These are the things that make me who I am and I don’t want to be anyone else. 
I am proud of who I am. A loving mother, sister, daughter, friend, cousin.  Not perfect but perfectly flawed and made into the woman I am today.  Yes I’ve made mistakes,  I’ve been hurt, lied to and taken advantage of.  But overall, I am loved by many and the ones that are still around are the ones that matter.  The rest have lived through their reason, their season and have made me stronger. 
Yes I am woman….RAWR!!!  and I love me!

Blogging, biking and balance

image

So here I am. At the gym.  Really don’t want to be, but since I’m on week 3 of the new year, I know I need to.  I started to fall off a bit.  Most likely it was because I am that “all or nothing” gal.  I get all Gung ho and burn myself right out.  Sometimes I forget to balance things out.  That is what I really need to work on.  So many things I want to start doing so I try to do them all.  Here is a summary of my workouts so far.

Week 1 – I exercised 7 days (gym or walked)
Week 2 – I was at the gym 4 days
Week 3 – I was at the gym 2 days out of 4

All weekend I felt exhausted and lazy.  I also feel like I’m coming down with a cold. I’m pretty sure that it’s because I haven’t been drinking enough water.  I’ve been eating healthy and I’m down 5 lbs so far.  I even had my first skinny day.  You know those days when you just feel skinny, even if you don’t look any more skinny than you were the day before?  Yet when you over do it or try to do everything at once it can sometimes backfire.
Story of my life.  Almost 38 and I’ve still yet to learn balance.  Some lady actually caught me journaling in the sauna this weekend  *embarrassing*. She said it was great that I could do that. I told her I think it’s because sometimes I don’t know how to slow down.  I’m always trying to multitask. I literally have to tell myself it’s OK to do nothing.  I find myself trying to fit everything in.  I mean even now I’m on the elliptical typing this. Obviously I’m not moving too fast but I’m moving.   As an Aries, I often forget that sometimes slow and steady wins the race.  I have to remind myself to breathe, to close my eyes, slow down my mind and feel life.  Stop wishing it away.  Stop plowing through.   It’s actually like the exercise.    Did you know that you actually burn fat at a slower level than cardio? While cardio is good for your heart, the rate your body burns fat is actually slower.  Even your body needs to slow down to get ahead sometimes.   Some days your body needs rest.  Time to heal.  Time to take a deep breath and get it together so you can move ahead.
I can hear the spin class going on next door. Last week I completed a spin class for the first time in years.  Spinning is no joke.  I have a love hate relationship with it but I think I did it as more of a challenge to myself.  To prove to myself I could do it.  I did.  It was definitely not fun at first but then you challenge yourself to push through.   It felt good to know I could do it.  This week, however, I’m lucky I even got here.  I really only came for the sauna.  And right now I’m only on the bike so I can finish this blog.
Now that I look back at the fact that I have made it to the gym two out of four days, that pretty darn good.  I’ll take 50%.
Over all it has been a good week, and hey, I made it! Maybe my body starting to feel sick is a reminder to slow down.  I’m in this for the long haul.  Stop rushing and enjoy the moment.

*photo credit – I do not own rights to photo it was found on the Internet

I am

I am truth
I am beauty
I am confidence
I am light
shining forth
From the inside out
To reflect
all
that is within me 
Expanding
Into nature
to share with this world
To light
The way for others
To heal
To love
I am strength
unimagined
I am the only me
Made like no other
Beauty
Love
Gentleness
Radiating
from within
Shining bright for all to see
To empower others
To light the way
towards my path
So that i may see
where i am heading
To a place of peace and joy
To create
A magical moment
in the day to day
To touch one person
To light the way of hope
So that it may ripple on
to infinity
To spread
throughout the universe

Beauty

She radiates beauty
from within her soul
Shining bright
from the inside out
It shows
in her eyes
her smile
her gentle spirit
A strong
yet peaceful
beauty
which was hidden
for so long
Clouded
by those who came
before him
those
who dampened it
Who blocked it
who tried to steal a piece
to keep for themselves
Not knowing
it’s power
couldn’t be taken
It was meant
to be shared 
To grow
and blossom
to shine
and multiply
But only he
had the spirit
and the power
to set it free 
Only he
had the strength image

to show her
the reflection
through the waters
that ran deep
within him